Funny Similes, Metaphors, and Analogies

I was surfing the net this morning and came across what I thought was an entertaining blog entry.  It is a compilation of similes, metaphors, and analogies written by English students across the country.  The lack of my own knowledge of proper writing kept me from poking fun at or even realizing those mistakes in their entries, however, some are pretty creative and humorous.  

Here's the link: http://www.english-blog.com/archives/2006/06/really_bad_metaphors.php

It made me think of sitting with some friends watching a ball game one time and when one of my friends was teasing another, the second simply looked and said... "I'm about to go Bobby Knight on you."  We all nearly peed our pants at the thought of our friend choking the other with his hands or throwing chairs across the room like the infamous coach throwing a fit during a game of hoops.

I remember once when my wife was pregnant someone made a comment about her being so skinny with just a round belly sticking out in front.  Saying...  "It's like a marble taped to a pencil."  I think it was meant as a compliment too.  My dad used to get mad and say he was about to "be on me like stink on sh*#t."  I have a friend that will say he's "busier than a one legged man at a butt kicking contest."  

What are some of the favorites you've heard?

JC